Our scene begins with Handsome Rob (H.R.) waking in the GARAGE (Gaurdian Angel Regional Area Guardsman Exchange) to the shrill blast of his work alarm. He looks at the clock, rolls his eyes, and gets out of bed. It is 5:45. El Jefe rolls over, looks at H.R., and tries to go back to bed.
H.R. I can’t believe that Jonny gets up so early in the morning!!! I never get any sleep. Jefe, don’t try and go back to sleep. You know you will have to get up in five minutes anyway.
Our next scene shows H.R., E.J. and Ben Jammin’ (B.J.) at the end of the day. They are eating a midnight snack, completely worn out.
H.R. Jammin’, I haven’t seen you around here. You must get plenty of rest, since Benjamin is still an infant and doesn’t get into any trouble…
B.J. Are you joking? Let’s see. Benjamin was born Aug. 15th, and I got my first break two weeks later!!! There is a lot to do in the hospital. Did you forget that my little Benjamin has some heart problems? We were down in Hershey for two weeks before we could finally go home. And then we had to go back for another surgery. Thank goodness he’s doing better now, or I’d never be able to sleep! And you two, while I was sweating away, you guys got to play down at the Marsh’s.
E.J. Well, while you were busy with the big shots working on Benjamin, I had to handle Jeffrey’s emergency room visit all by myself, remember? After he hit his head on the tile floor, we had to go get a CAT scan. It was hard work convincing Jeffrey that it would be fun to have pictures taken of inside his head. I had to work overtime on that too. And you’re lucky. You have already been on a helicopter ride. It’s not fair!!!
The three guardian angels start to compare their workload, while sharing the “daring exploits” of their respective charges.
E.J. I have the hardest job. Jeffrey wants to do everything. He’s only three, but already he tries to help his dad do everything. Have you seen that basement? Sure, it’s coming along great, but all those tools are dangerous! I really don’t think that a three-year-old should have his own battery-powered drill, though he is pretty good at putting in those drywall screws.
H.R. You think Jeffrey’s hard? Look at Jonny. Not only does he want to do everything, he wants to eat everything! Remember when Jeffrey and Jonny were out in the rain, and Jeffrey jumped in that mud puddle?
E.J. I sure do.
H.R. Well, Jonny started drinking out of it!!! That took a full two weeks to get out of his system. He finds three day old food on the floor and eats that! He has even started to eat paper and books! I can’t keep anything out of his mouth. I don’t even get overtime pay. And now that he is talking, I don’t know what I am going to do. He puts all those big words together, his parents are actually starting to understand him. That’s not good, because now he will get into even more trouble.
E.J. Yeah, I don’t know about those parents. They seem to let their kids get away with a lot. Like that jumping bed. It’s written right here in the instruction manual that beds are not to be jumped on, but Jeffrey and Jonny have their own bed specifically for jumping. An indoor trampoline. Jeffrey even learned how to do flips on it! I thought I would have a heart attack. Sorry B.J., I didn’t mean to bring up a touchy subject.
B.J. Don’t worry about it.
H.R. Ah, come on. The jumping bed isn’t that bad. Now, my crib is another story. Jonny thought that because he could jump on the jumping bed, he could also jump in the crib. I tried to warn him that it would cause the bars to fall off, but does he listen? No way. They all came off at once. I tried to get his mom to come in, but she was out cold. Even her angel couldn’t wake her up. Jonny eventually just climbed out of bed and walked in to his parents room. What a surprise. Almost gave them heart attacks. Oh, sorry…
B.J. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine, just sucking my thumb…
E.J. It’s a good thing we get breaks every once-in-a-while. When people come and visit and play with Jeffrey and Jonny.
H.R. Yeah, I loved it when the first ever Hill family reunion was out here. I hardly had to do anything. Everyone was playing together. It was great. I hope we do it more often. Of course, even then there were a couple of problems. Everyone thought someone else was in charge. (I was using the restroom). I came back and no one knew where he was. The neighbors finally brought him back after he had wandered over to their bonfire.
E.J. Oh yeah, I remember that. I loved it when Hannah came out and stayed for a while. Boy, that was the first real vacation I’ve had since picking up Jeffrey.
H.R. That’s not true. We get lots of time off when the Marsh’s visit. Do you see how happy the kids are when people are here? It’s great.
E.J. I guess we do have it pretty good most of the time. Do you remember Hawaii? The Marsh’s took us over the summer, and we had a blast. Jeffrey and Jonny got to see all those fish, and I even pulled some strings and got that shark to come by during the glass-bottom boat tour.
H.R. Yeah, that was great. But don’t forget all the hard work it was to keep everyone safe while Grandpa Yum-Yum was driving…And all those treats, no wonder he is known as Grandpa Yum-Yum.
As the three continue talking about the fun times they have had, Amazing Mother (A.M.) and Post Masters (P.M) walk in. AM stumbles into the room and collapses onto the love seat, immediately falling into a deep sleep. PM has his nose stuck in a book and barely misses running into a wall.
E.J. Poor guys. P.M. is always studying. Even though his charge, Jeffrey’s dad, passed his candidacy exams this fall, he still has all that stuff to learn. At least he doesn’t do anything really dangerous anymore.
H.R. I feel sorry for A.M. When was the last time she got a break? Maybe we should let her sleep through the night tonight.
All 3 NAH!!!
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